We live in a world obsessed with success. Scroll through social media, attend a seminar, or even talk to your relatives, and you’ll hear the same message on repeat: “If you work hard and stay committed, success is guaranteed.” This message, often disguised as inspiration, is not only misleading but deeply harmful. It belongs to a growing culture of “motivational porn” content that sounds uplifting but sets unrealistic expectations, trapping people in cycles of guilt, burnout, and anxiety.
In countries like India, this problem is amplified by societal pressure and narrow definitions of achievement. A government job or admission to a prestigious institute is seen as the only “true” success. But what happens when millions chase the same goal, and only a few succeed? Does that mean the rest have failed? Or is it time to challenge the very idea of what success means?
The Problem with Motivational Porn:
Motivational porn is everywhere. It’s in the viral videos that show overnight success stories, in speakers who say “never give up,” and in posters that scream “dream big, hustle harder.” On the surface, this feels like encouragement. But underneath, it’s selling a dangerous lie, the belief that effort always equals results.
Let’s be clear: hard work matters. Discipline matters. But these alone do not guarantee success. When motivational content ignores the roles of privilege, social background, mental health, and even luck, it builds unrealistic hope, and when people fall short, they blame themselves. This emotional manipulation keeps them coming back for more “motivation,” feeding an entire industry that profits from people’s repeated failures.
The Numbers Don’t Lie
Take exams like SSC CGL or UPSC Civil Services. Every year, lakhs of students apply; in some cases, over 36 lakh applicants compete for a few thousand positions. This means that more than 95% will not make it, even if they work extremely hard. The math is simple, but we ignore it because motivational culture says, “You can do it if you want it badly enough.”
What this culture doesn’t say is: “You can do everything right and still not succeed, and that’s not your fault.”
When someone hears that and fails, they begin to question their worth. They feel ashamed, not because they didn’t try, but because they didn’t reach an unrealistic ideal that society sold them as mandatory. In this way, motivation becomes a trap instead of a tool.
Success is a Social Construct
One of the most overlooked truths is this: success is not universal; it is social. For some, success means clearing an exam. For others, it could be starting a business, raising a family, writing a book, or just being mentally peaceful.
But in many cultures, especially South Asian ones, success is defined by external validation. Family, society, and even your social media followers decide whether you’re successful, not you. So, students who clear JE Mains but not advanced feel like failures. Civil servants in elite services still reappear for exams, hoping for “something better.” People with stable jobs keep pushing for more, not because they want to, but because they’re told to.
When you don’t get to define success on your terms, you can never feel successful, no matter what you achieve.
The Role of Family and Society in Shaping Dreams
Most people are not chasing their dreams; they are fulfilling assigned dreams. A student wants to become a writer but ends up in a coaching institute because their family insists on a government job. Another wants to start a business but is told it’s too risky, so they prepare for banking exams instead.
This external pressure turns ambition into anxiety. The cost is more than just time and money, it’s mental health. Many young people feel trapped, directionless, and exhausted, not because they’re lazy, but because they’re chasing a dream that never belonged to them in the first place.
And when they fail to meet expectations they never chose, they blame themselves. This emotional weight is compounded by the motivational industry, which tells them, “If you failed, you didn’t try hard enough.” It’s cruel, dishonest, and deeply unfair.
When Even Success Feels Like Failure
Here’s the irony: even people who succeed by traditional standards often don’t feel successful. Why? Because they were told that only the top matters. Clearing JE Mains and getting into NIT? Not enough, it wasn’t IIT. Becoming an IPS officer? Still not enough, someone else topped the exam.
This mindset makes success a moving target. No matter how high you climb, there’s always another step, another comparison, another benchmark. In the process, people lose the ability to feel fulfilled, proud, or at peace. They learn to equate success with perfection, and since perfection is impossible, so is happiness.
Why You Need to Define Success for Yourself
To break free from this trap, you must reclaim the right to define your success. Ask yourself:
- What do I want?
- Whose dream am I chasing, mine or someone else’s?
- What does a fulfilling life look like to me, not to others?
Success is not a destination. It’s not a PDF with your name on it or a badge beside your job title. It’s a personal journey, a process of growth, improvement, and self-awareness.
If you’ve become more skilled, more aware, more emotionally strong that is success. If you’ve worked hard with honesty and learned something along the way, that is success. And if you decide that you want to change your path entirely, that’s not failure, that’s wisdom.
Conclusion:
The most liberating thing you can do in today’s pressure-filled world is to detach from the myth of guaranteed success. Hard work is important, but it’s not magic. Results depend on countless factors timing, opportunity, competition, privilege, and yes, sometimes sheer luck.
Don’t let the motivational industry sell you a formula that never works. Don’t let society trap you into a definition of success that was never meant for you. And most importantly, don’t let yourself believe that one failure, or even many, defines your worth.
You are not a failure just because you haven’t succeeded yet. And you’re not a success just because someone else says so.
You get to decide. Always.
FAQs:
Q1: What is motivational porn, and why is it harmful?
Motivational porn is a kind of content that looks like inspiration but sells false hope it promises that hard work always brings success and ignores how real life works it does not talk about privilege mental health luck or background this kind of motivation makes people feel like failures when they do not reach big goals and pushes them to keep chasing unrealistic dreams again and again
Q2: Why is the idea of guaranteed success misleading?
The idea of guaranteed success says that if you just work hard and stay committed you will reach your goal but life is not that simple many people work hard and still do not succeed due to reasons outside their control like competition limited seats lack of support or pure chance believing in guaranteed success creates guilt shame and confusion when things do not go as planned
Q3: How does society shape our view of success?
In many cultures success is defined by others not by you family relatives society and even social media tell you what counts as real success and what does not this makes people follow paths they never chose just to feel accepted they keep climbing ladders built by someone else and even when they reach the top they feel empty because it was never their dream to begin with
Q4: What is the impact of chasing assigned dreams?
When you chase dreams that were never yours it creates stress anxiety and burnout many young people are pushed into career choices like government jobs or engineering not because they want to but because their family or society tells them to they feel stuck and blame themselves when they struggle even though the problem is that they were never allowed to choose their path
Q5: What does success mean, and how should you define it?
Success is not one fixed thing it looks different for everyone and it should come from your values not from what others say real success could mean being happy being at peace being creative or simply living a balanced life it is not about job titles or exam ranks but about growth self-awareness and living truthfully defining success in your terms is the first step toward true freedom
