An introductory paragraph introduces the reader to your essay’s topic and explains how your argument will unfold. It also motivates the reader to learn more.
Open relationships (also known as ethical non-monogamy or consensual non-monogamy) can be an interesting, fulfilling alternative to monogamy. But it’s important to establish rules that keep your primary partner first.
Sexual and Emotional Boundaries
Many open relationships begin with a conversation about sexual boundaries, but emotional and social limits are equally important to establish. The key is not to rush into an open relationship without being sure that it is something you are comfortable with and that your partner understands.
Emotional boundaries may include how much time you are comfortable spending together, whether you are happy for your partner to date or have sex with people they meet in the social circle, and if you want them to disclose their other relationships with friends and family. This type of discussion can feel difficult to have, but it is essential to the health and success of an open relationship.
Physical boundaries should also be discussed, such as what types of sex are allowed and not allowed, including penetrative sex and oral sex. Creating these rules early on will allow you to avoid any surprises down the road. Boundaries should be re-negotiated regularly to reflect how you are feeling and the changing nature of the relationship.
Explicit Rules
In most relationships, there are rules that must be obeyed – doctor/patient, teacher/student, boss/employee, judge/lawyer. In an open relationship, these can be less formalized but equally important. It’s essential to discuss what these are and that they include the wants and needs of both partners.
This can be a tricky part of the process because what may be clear to one partner is not so much for another. It can also be difficult to determine what is “okay” and what is not.
This can be particularly challenging when sexual boundaries are involved. Talking about this allows you to establish the level of intimacy and sexual exploration you and your partner are comfortable with. For example, if you are in an open marriage and your partner isn’t interested in having penetrative sex with you, that should be made clear early on. New functionality in System Architect 11.4, makes it easy to run Explorer Relationship Reports on any diagram type to visualize explicit and implicit relationship rules.
Emotional Support
Emotional support is an important part of any relationship, and open relationships are no exception. When you give emotional support to your partner, it helps them feel valued and cared about. It also enables them to communicate their feelings to you more effectively and build trust.
However, this kind of support can be difficult to provide in an open relationship. This is because your partner may worry that you will become jealous of their other partners, and this can lead to a breakdown in communication. If this is the case, it’s crucial to remind them that you love them, and that they should be confident in their decision to be in an open relationship.
Ultimately, the specific rules you and your partner establish will determine how your open relationship operates, and that includes making safe sex a priority. If you are struggling to get these ground rules established, talking to a professional might help. A qualified relationship therapist can guide you through the process of creating a healthy and productive open relationship with your partner.
Safe Sex
No matter what kind of relationship you have, safe sex should always be top of mind. In an open relationship, you may want to make it explicitly clear that any sexual partners must use condoms and get tested for STIs before engaging in physical activity.
If you’re both comfortable with it, you might also want to discuss emotional boundaries—for example, how often your partner is allowed to date or interact socially with other people, and whether there are any limits on who they’re willing to have sex with. These can be more difficult to set than physical boundaries, but they’re equally important.
While it might not be necessary to present this rulebook at the beginning of the open relationship, creating these rules will ensure that both parties are on the same page about expectations and boundaries. This can help prevent misunderstandings and build trust. Plus, it’s much easier to enforce these rules when they are established from the start.How to establish open relationship rules